[	mood	|	freezing	]
[	music	|	ACDC - If You Want Blood	]

Rice on the stove. Clean towels in the linen cupboard. Heater alight. Vodka in hand. Now where was I... Oh yes.

Heligoland album launch last night at The Northcote Social Club. Dinner prior to the gig with Brenda (my surrogate mother for Mothers Day), and Linda at a teeny Vietnamese restaurant on Victoria Street was mouth wateringly yum. Then onto the Northcote where Karen's vocals soared. I adored the harmonies, and the addition of keys could only be improved by the addition of a piano.... my pretty piano obsession is peeking through again... but back to the gig. The helium balloons danced. And support Maps, had my feet a tapping.

All in all, a lovely night. I delight in the fact that I managed to get Linda hooked on vodka n cranberry. And I pine for the balloons that were trapped and lost in the roof cavity thanks to a hole in the ceiling panels.

[	mood	|	man it's chilly	]
[	music	|	Heligoland, in my head	]

you were dancing on airwaves tonight

so i caught you up

and took you home

and i realised people aren't unlike balloons.

[	mood	|	tired	]
[	music	|	Northern Exposure Season One	]

The leaves have changed, and are falling. The nights are icy, and my garden is loving the regularity of the rain which has been falling of late.

I spent this afternoon in Frankston, op-shopping for books, records, and of course sweaters. A girl can never have too much knitwear, especially of the hand-knitted lovingly by a grandmother for her granddaughter/son variety. Some of these stitches would take me a lifetime to master, so while I am still learning, I take advantage of these garments, disregarded.

I have been little girl blue, much too much these past months. This has to change, and I have to be the one to change it. I will change like the leaves, watch me blossom into colour.

In honour of Nick Hornby here is a top 5 for you all.

Top five recordings which make it through my earphones with surprising regularity, given that my Mp3 player is on random:

1. Múm - We Have a Map of The Piano


2. Frou Frou - Let Go


3. The Dandy Warhols - Bohemian Like You


4. Red Riders - I Think You're Blind


5. Rob Zombie - Living Dead Girl

[	mood	|	ill	]
[	music	|	Stone Roses - Fools Gold	]

I need a new job. I should have stayed in bed today - not that I had much choice in the matter. My District Manager made me cry before the store even opened its doors. I seem to have found myself in a position where any initiative (which bear it in mind they expect you to take) is squished like a bug... and any calm, well planned strategy is swatted like a fly... and I wonder what the fuck they are doing... and then I ponder what the fuck I am doing.

[	mood	|	woozy	]
[	music	|	Josh Pyke - Feeding The Wolves	]

I want to buy a little place with bay windows, hardwood floors, and a piece of earth to call my own.

In other news I am reading Gilbert Adair's Peter Pan and the Only Children (chapter by chapter in the local library, having misplaced my card). I am also ill again... I blame the endless hours I am working, and having not fully recovered from the whole Glandular fiasco yet, I don't really blame my body for wanting to pack it in.

I just phoned Jessica, and she is on her way to Byron for Blues and Roots with a gaggle of friends. I myself may be doing the festival thing in Geelong on Monday, refusing to miss out on seeing The Black Keys while they are in the country.

...and that seems to be all there is from me at this moment in time. On closing, I should note that my knitting circle on Saturday night was a flaming success, and will be happening again soon. As one of my male friends said upon inviting him to the circle after his AFL game Saturday afternoon everyone has to have a hobby, and if one can partake in that hobby with a handful of close mates, pizza, and a bottle of vodka, well, all the better.

[	mood	|	cold and weary	]
[	music	|	Emiliana Torrini - To Be Free	]

Another dreamy co-worker bounced into work today with a smile on her face and a cupcake in her hand. The cupcake bore a smile too (on its pink icing), and it was all mine. I don't mind working every second weekend... I am rewarded in beautiful little ways. These are my saving graces.

My Mothers heart is on my mind, and on my heart - consequently my heart is extra heavy of late.

[	mood	|	from proud to grumpy	]
[	music	|	Virgin Souls - Contents	]

I was promoted coming on 4 months ago, and I have been pondering whether I am good at what I do ever since. I never imagined myself in this kind of position. I never saw myself in management, and retail management even less (unless you count me wanting to own a record store, cafe, or a combination of the two, and that is an entirely different kettle of fish). I've been wondering whether it is worth the stress, and attempting to calculate whether the long hours balance with the salary... Moments like this though, blow all that out the window. Today one of my dreamy co-workers lingered after work and turned to me with a problem, and was so grateful I took the time that she wouldn't stop thanking me. Moments like these make me realise I am doing everything right.

In other news, people are cunts. I wish I were a piano.

And back to happier things... The new sandalwood soap I purchased is so yummy, that I keep smelling my hands.

[	mood	|	distressed	]
[	music	|	Fiona Apple - Sleep To Dream	]

Today has been a bad news day. I am weary and wishing my mind to be free of clutter and more inclined to sleep.

Perhaps tomorrow I shall tell you of dreamy co-workers, magnolia blossoms, evil shop mannequins, hearts, pianos, and crumpets with tea.

[	mood	|	content	]
[	music	|	The Cloud Room - Hey Now Now	]

Tara didn't want to go in the water today. My arms were a safety net, protecting her from the ocean. I waded out to my waist, with her little 2 year old hands clinging to me. We looked for fishes and mermaids, and watched the boys and girls frolicking in the gentle waves of Chelsea Beach. Tara didn't want to leave the water today.

And now after almost flooding the house, my bath beckons.

[	mood	|	bouncy	]
[	music	|	Rob Zombie - Living Dead Girl	]

Today I heard tales of a first kiss told in blushed excitement, and I lived vicariously through another.

Some day soon I shall live vicariously through myself.

[	mood	|	contemplative	]
[	music	|	Damien Rice - Delicate	]

I've been reading through old poetry, and I'd forgotten I could write like that. I wonder when I lost, or misplaced the ability. The words seem foreign, but oh so familiar. Perhaps I wrote them in a dream.

[	mood	|	mellow	]
[	music	|	The Black Keys - Till I Get My Way	]

I lay in my hammock framed by a tree for a good two hours this afternoon. I am putting off doing the dishes. I have run out of crockery and cutlery and pots and pans. Remarkably, there is a mug... which I am drinking out of this very moment... or perhaps the moment just before this... and perhaps the one which comes mere seconds after.

[	mood	|	tired	]
[	music	|	The Killers - Smile Like You Mean It	]

So, my bed isn't so empty at night anymore... Well, at least not for the time being anyway. I am dog-sitting a gorgeous Blue Healer cross and I am loving the company. Her name is Gypsy, but she also responds to a high-pitched 'Fifi', and she protects me from the shadows of possums walking the fence beyond my window.

[	mood	|	numb	]
[	music	|	Thievery Corporation - Lebanese Blonde	]

This girl finally caved, and got herself a live-journal in order to keep in touch with her gorgeous little humans, so that is what she plans to do.

I haven't really been on-line, true. Upon returning from India, I managed to contract Glandular Fever for the second time in my life (something that isn't really supposed to happen), and have been having a tough time with it. On top of this, I have been working my little butt off. My spare time I spend in bed, my days off I spend in bed, so on top of work and bed-rest there hasn't been room for much else. And to make matters better yesterday I received the fabulous news that for the first time ever in my life my iron levels aren't sky high. I have never had to deal with iron deficiency before, and if I wasn't cranky at my body for letting me down over the whole Glandular Fever fiasco, I surely am now.